September 2011

We should be focused on lifting ourselves up instead of knocking ourselves down.

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This week, I received an email from one of the many Jewish organizations who have me on their list. The subject line was the usual Rosh Hashana salutation and well wishes. Indeed, the email began in the familiar fashion – “as the year comes to a close, it is natural for each of us to take stock…” However, as I kept reading I was very surprised. Normally, that sentence would end with a call for introspection, self-reflection and an analysis of where we went wrong, how we failed, and how we can improve.

Instead, in this particular email, the author concludes the sentence by saying, “it is natural for each of us to take stock of our accomplishments.” The message continued by listing a series of achievements and milestones the organization celebrated this past year. At first, I reacted cynically and thought to myself, of course, it is much more convenient to focus on success rather than on failure, but what a distortion of the essence of this time of year.

However, after thinking about it for a moment it occurred to me, that maybe they are on to something. Of course Elul, Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are a time to consider our shortcomings and how we can grow, but should that necessarily translate into guilt, negativity and a feeling of failure. Perhaps we would do better to identify our successes, our achievements and with pride, reflect on what went right this past year, so that it can be repeated and expanded to other areas of our lives.

Our main task on Rosh Hashana is to be mamlich Hashem, to coronate God as King. In the process, we should recognize how fortunate and blessed we are, not only to be His loyal servants, but as His children to be princes and princesses, members of the royal family. Indeed, we preface Avinu before Malkeinu in our prayers. We should be focused on lifting ourselves up instead of knocking ourselves down.

Spend time these two days thinking about what went wrong, why did it go wrong and how can we prevent it from going wrong again. But don’t forget to take as much time to focus on what went right and feel pride in the accomplishments and achievements of the past year. I believe giving ourselves positive reinforcement will propel us forward to have an evening greater year ahead.

Shanah Tova,

It’s not too late to get ready.

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On Thursday morning, together with close to 900 others Rabbis from across denominations, I participated in a pre-Rosh Hashana conference call with the President. As the operator of the call made introductory remarks, I was reminded of a great insight my colleague and good friend, Rabbi Gibber shared with me following last year’s call of a similar nature. The operator announced that while participants will all be able to hear the President, our phones would automatically be muted such that he can’t hear any of us. This is standard operation of a conference call of this size and undoubtedly would have been employed no matter who the President hosting the call.

When it comes to a call with the President of the United States of America, the leader of the free world, our voices are muted, and our input is silenced. The call was a monologue, not a dialogue. It is remarkable to consider that in contrast, when we conference with the Almighty, the King of Kings, the Creator of the World, our voices ring loudly, our input is welcomed and our opportunity to speak freely and openly is invited. We are blessed to have God’s ear, whenever and wherever we choose. We can close our eyes, shut out the world and communicate with our Creator whenever we like.

In less than a week from now, we will be sitting in Shul in marathon davening sessions. Could you imagine signing up to participate in the NY City or Boston Marathons and not training whatsoever? How well would you do if you kept your normal eating pattern and sedentary lifestyle and then just showed up on the starting line to begin the race? Not only would you not win, you would likely not make it past the first few miles. People who participate in marathons train for months, increase their stamina, their concentration, learn how to best pace themselves and adjust their diet to achieve maximum performance.

We are now a few days away from our marathon, two Rosh Hashana days of davening, followed by the intensity of the ten days of repentance and culminating in Yom Kippur. Have we trained adequately? Are we ready to not only qualify or complete the marathon, but to achieve our very best? Are we in maximum performance shape?

We simply cannot expect to just show up on Rosh Hashana and have a meaningful, purposeful, transformation experience. While we will likely blame the davening, the décor, the Rabbi or the location of our seat for why we were not moved or inspired, the truth is that the success of this time of the year is directly proportional to the effort and investment we make in it.

It is not too late to get ready. In the next few days set aside time to meditate and reflect on areas we can improve, mistakes we have made and how they can be avoided, things for which we should be appreciative and goals for the coming year. Give extra time, attention and effort to davening three times a day, preferably with a minyan and hone your ability to connect. Talk to Hashem like you are having coffee with your best friend who wants to hear everything in your life, because He is your best friend and He does want to hear everything.

If we spend time preparing and getting ready, I am confident we will have the best Yamim No’raim ever.

Shabbat Shalom

If we want to have credibility when we criticize, we must be willing to praise, when warranted.

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A very noteworthy incident took place last weekend, though it was significantly overshadowed by the 10th anniversary of 9/11. An angry mob attacked the Israeli embassy in Cairo, breached the security wall, and advanced on six Israeli diplomats with one goal in mind. The Israelis barricaded themselves in a room with only one locked door between them and their almost certain demise. Indeed, one of the diplomats made Prime Minister Netanyahu promise him that his mother would not be informed of his death over the phone, but that they would dispatch someone to tell her in person.

As the situation progressively worsened, Israel was unable to make contact with their Egyptian counterparts to intercede. Prime Minister Netanyahu called President Obama who placed the weight of the United States behind the demand of the Egyptians to protect the trapped Israelis. Following the incident, PM Netanyahu said “I would like to express my gratitude to the President of the United States, Barack Obama. I asked for his help. This was a decisive and fateful moment. He said, ‘I will do everything I can.’ And so he did. He used every considerable means and influence of the United States to help us. We owe him a special measure of gratitude.”

Former Director of the Mossad, Efraim Halevy spoke at a conference in New York this week and said, “I believe the leadership that the President of the United States showed on that night was a leadership of historic dimensions. It was he who took the ultimate decision that night which prevented what could have been a sad outcome—instead of six men coming home, the arrival in Israel of six body bags. And I want to say to you very openly and very clearly that had there been six body bags, there would have been a much different Israel today than we have been used to seeing over recent years.”

PM Netanyahu and Efraim Halevy were not the only ones to praise President Obama this week. The Zionist Organization of America praised and thanked President Barack Obama for his public commitment to veto a Palestinian statehood bid if it reaches the United Nations Security Council. ZOA National President Morton A. Klein said, “We commend President Obama for making it publicly clear that his administration will veto the Palestinian statehood bid at the United Nations Security Council.”

The Pro-Israel community has not been shy in voicing our criticism of President Obama’s policies and messaging towards Israel. In fact, most pundits have interpreted Bob Turner’s victory over Democratic state Assemblyman David Weprin in a special election Tuesday as a referendum on Obama’s attitude towards Israel. The Drudge Report even ran a headline “Revenge of the Jews; Dem Seat Turns in NYC.”

However, as the country gears up for the countdown to the next election, it behooves us to remember that if we want to have credibility when we criticize, and we must not hesitate to be vocally critical when it is warranted, then we must also be willing to praise and extol when they are warranted as well. The President, in my opinion, deserves great praise and thanks for his efforts in protecting the Israeli diplomats in Cairo and his conviction in vocally opposing the declaration of Palestinian Statehood at the UN.

Shabbat Shalom

What do you do?

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A few summers ago, I had the pleasure of attending a wedding in which the only people I knew were the family of the bride.  At the meal, I found myself sitting at a table of people I had never met.  In an attempt to be friendly to the man seated next to me, I asked him, “What do you do?”  He sat up in his chair, turned to me and said, “What do I do, or how do I earn a living?  I earn a living as a plumber.  What I do, what I am most proud of, is that I learn Torah every morning before davening, and I spend time with my family every evening after work.”  His answer remains etched in my memory as he taught me a profound lesson that day in that short, but poignant answer to my simple social question.  

How often is our first question to someone we meet, what do you do?  How often do we ask about someone else, what does he or she do?  How often do we define our own self-worth by our profession or if we aren’t working by what takes up the bulk of our time?  For too many of us our identity is entirely wrapped up and monopolized by our profession.  We mistake ‘earning a living’ for actually living.  If we are not working, we still often mistakenly identify with the details that take up the greatest quantity of our time, not quality of our time.  

We need to challenge ourselves to create a meaningful list of goals outside of how we earn a living.  Will our list include making a million dollars, or making a difference?  Will it include finishing a stamp collection or finishing shas?  Will it include spending money on a nicer car and nicer home or spending time with our spouses and children?  

The Netziv, Rav Naftoli Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, was once visited by a student he had not seen in a long time.  He greeted him with the popular Yiddish idiom, vus machstu, which is used in the vernacular as how are you, but literally translates as what do you do?  The student answered, I am well Rebbe, Baruch Hashem I am healthy and earn an excellent living.  They sat and made small talk and after a little while the Netziv again asked so “vus machs tu?”  Again, the talmid answered, thank God I am well and grateful I am very successful financially.  They spent the next hour in discussion and again the Netziv, a third time asked nu, vus machs tu?  The student finally turned to his Rebbe and said forgive me Rebbe, but this is the third time you asked me the same question and I have already told you all is well, I am healthy and parnossa is great.  The Netziv turned to him and said, maybe you didn’t understand the question.  You answered that you have good health and an excellent livelihood.  That’s what Hashem does for you; I asked vus machstu, and what do you do?

As we rapidly approach Rosh Hashana, let’s be ready to answer the question – what do you do?

Learning is a Lifelong Endeavor and its Mission is Never Complete

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Parents have let out a collective sigh of relief.  The new academic year has started and, thank God, the kids are back in school.  It is amazing that, at the end of the school year, parents are so grateful to have a reprieve from supervising homework, making lunches and driving carpools.  By the end of the summer, however, they are all too happy to resume those duties and have their kids back in a structured, productive and learning environment.

While we mostly think about the end of summer as a time that kids go back to school, Judaism teaches that it is specifically this period of the year that all of us, adults, kids, men and women are encouraged to return to learning, studying and personal growth.  Learning is a lifelong endeavor and its mission is never complete.  

Over the past few weeks, I attended two siyumim, the celebrations over completion of a major body of learning, that deeply inspired me.  During the nine days, our member, Jeff Silkin made a siyum on an entire mesechta  (tractate) of gemara.  Remarkably, when Jeff and his family first moved to the circle he would classify himself as a beginner with little background or learning skills.  Yet, by committing to study one night a week with his chavrusa (R. Mayer Englander), something he considers totally ordinary, he was able to achieve an extraordinary feat.  

Last Shabbos at Seudah Shlishiet, another of our members, Dan Waldman, made a siyum on Shas Mishnayos, having completed every single mishna in the six orders.  He told the story of how, as a survivor, he tried to learn about his murdered ancestors so he could visit their graves.  When he recognized that, tragically, he could not locate much information, he decided he would study the entire mishna and dedicate it to them.   Through this process of study that took several years, he became their monument.  Ask Dan how he completed this rigorous project and his answer is simple – one mishna at a time.

Like our many children and like Jeff and Dan, this Elul, let’s all go back to school.  Challenge yourself to complete an area of study, to read a challenging book, to attend an inspiring lecture or to engage a regular study partner.  Participate in the Beis Midrash program nightly or Shabbos afternoon in the Senders Library.  If you need a chavrusa, feel free to contact me any time.  

May we all use Labor Day to return to school for a labor of love – Torah study, and may we attend each other’s siyumim and celebrations for many years to come.

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